What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
