I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need moral support for this bender
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize