i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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