I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize