i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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