were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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