I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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