Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
