Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize