Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
