What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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