Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
