counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
