I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
