hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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