If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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