dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
