Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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