Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize