What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if only i could text you this smell
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
