Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
pray to the hookup gods
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
