Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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