We won't sleep together?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
