She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
