He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
