Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
