Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
