now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Duck Duck Cougar?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
