Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Found your dick twin last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
