the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize