you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
