Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
