Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
