dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
