the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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