yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
