Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
