dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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