If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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