I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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