But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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