3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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