My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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