Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
