shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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