you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
