Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
