so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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