Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
