Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
