Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize