oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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