'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize