last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You ruined the universe
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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