is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
