i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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