He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
