okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's never too late to be topless.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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