That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
