remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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