Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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