I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to fling myself into the sun
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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