I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She needs sedatives and a leash
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
