Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
