I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
and she was petting her beer can
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
