i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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