But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
