I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
