FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
