we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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