fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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